Creating Space for Motherhood: How to Simplify Your Life So You Can Stay Home As Long As You Want With Your Baby

A heartfelt letter to new & future mamas about redefining success, simplifying your finances, and setting up your life for more presence and peace in motherhood.

I’ve witnessed every freckle emerge on your body – first on your nose, two on your thigh, then one on your wrist.

I watched you find your hand for the first time, figure out how to put the ball in the cup, roll over, sit up, army crawl your body across the floor, then crawl, and finally, take your first steps. I’ve been there every step of the way. Now I watch you get dressed by yourself, put the key in the lock to our door, swing all by yourself, and fill your own cup of water.

I’ve seen you discover the clouds, the leaves rustling in the wind, the shells at the beach, and the fearful look that crossed your face when the dog licked your cheek. I’ve watched you empathize with the sound of a baby crying and become aware of the world around you.

I’ve seen you wrap us both in a love so pure and so profound that it heals us both. It motivates us to keep showing up for you as best we can, however imperfectly that may be at times.

In this day and age, it is truly a privilege to be able to stay at home and raise you. When two salaries are what most families need just to make ends meet, I don’t take for granted what it means to be present for your days. 

We’re not rich. We don’t have family nearby to help raise you. But we have thought hard and reprioritized what’s most important to us during this fleeting, precious season of infancy. Our basic needs are met. Our bills are paid. And I can be your constant, unwavering hand to hold.

The Reality of Modern Motherhood

Motherhood today exists within a culture and a society that moves too fast and expects too much. The world often tells women that success means doing it all — having the baby, getting your body “back”, returning to work, maintaining a social life, and somehow looking rested through it all.

But what if success, in this season, looked like stillness?

What if success meant slowing down enough to truly witness your child — their laughter, their discoveries, their every new freckle?

The truth is, many mothers want to be home longer but feel they can’t afford to be. The cost of living has risen dramatically, and two incomes have become the norm, not the exception. For many, the thought of staying home feels like a fantasy reserved for the wealthy, but it doesn’t have to be.

This isn’t about choosing between ambition and motherhood. It’s about reclaiming freedom of choice. The ability to decide, without financial panic, whether to return to work, work part-time, or somewhere in between.

Redefining “Success” and “Enough”

To make space for that freedom, we often need to redefine what “enough” really means.

We live in a world that equates success with accumulation — the bigger home, the newer car, the fuller schedule. But motherhood invites us to question that. To look around and realize that maybe we don’t need more — maybe we just need less.

Less clutter.
Less debt.
Less pressure.
Less noise.

In our family, we continue to choose less: we stay in our 700sqft apartment even when it feels like the walls are going to burst, we take good care of our almost 20 year old car, fewer expenses, no unnecessary subscriptions. We *try* to buy less, waste less, and spend more time outside.

It’s not glamorous. But it’s real. And it’s enough.

Practical Steps to Simplify and Prepare

If you’re planning to become a mother, or already are and wondering how to extend your time at home, here are some practical ways to prepare. None of these happen overnight, but small, consistent changes compound into freedom.

Financial Preparation

• Pay down debt — start with high-interest loans and credit cards. Every dollar of debt repaid is freedom earned.
• Live below your means — choose a smaller home or used car if it means you’ll be able to work less and have more time with your baby later.
• Simplify expenses — cancel subscriptions, cook at home, shop intentionally, maybe manicures only for special events. Every little bit adds up.
• Get comfortable earning less — this is one I’ve had the hardest time with. Growing up in the 21st century, having had a career, retirement savings, providing for myself, always sharing the expenses mostly 50/50 with my partner, and being “financially independent” to a role where what I provide doesn’t show up in my physical bank, has been a really unnerving place to be in. But, I am trying to stay in the discomfort, though.

Career Adjustments

• Look for remote or flexible work options before or during pregnancy — this might mean taking on a different role or learning new skills.
• Start a small side business or freelance project that can grow gradually (like I’m *trying* to do with Roots to Tonics). 
• Be open to working part-time or a few hours in the evenings. Sometimes a small contribution can make a big difference financially without pulling you away entirely during the day.

Lifestyle Simplification

• Embrace minimalism. Babies don’t need much. You don’t either. Focus on quality, not quantity.
• Meal plan and cook at home — nourishing, simple food saves money and keeps everyone healthier.
• Choose slow living — walk or ride your bike instead of drive (although difficult in the US), make or repair instead of buy, rest instead of rush.

Build Your Village

• Find community — local mothers’ groups, online support networks, or even one or two trusted friends or family members.
• Trade help when you can: share meals, clothes, childcare swaps.
• Accept help. Ask for help. Motherhood isn’t meant to be done in isolation.

Emotional and Spiritual Preparation

Motherhood will stretch you – not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. It will demand surrender, patience, and a kind of love that breaks you open and rebuilds you. When it starts to feel tough and you feel that internal frustration, ask yourself, “where am I fighting the surrender?”

There will be days you long for adult conversation or when you just want someone, anyone to step in and take over being in charge. There will be moments of loneliness and self-doubt. But there will also be moments of such profound presence that you’ll feel eternity sitting quietly beside you — in your child’s giggle, in the stillness of an afternoon contact nap, in the rhythm of rocking your baby to sleep.

This is the work of motherhood: not productivity, but presence.
Not perfection, but peace.

Give yourself permission to slow down. To be imperfect. To simply be with your baby.

A Love Letter to New and Soon-to-Be Mothers

If you’re reading this and dreaming of one day being home with your baby, start now. Simplify where you can. Save what you can. Build a life that allows you to choose presence over production. Closeness over separation.

Because the truth is, biological infancy is so short. The days are long, yes, and sometimes impossibly so. But they end, quicker than you think. And you will never get this time back.

You will never regret the moments you spent watching your baby discover the world, or just simply watching them in awe – only the ones you missed.

So plan now. Simplify now. Protect this sacred season.

Remember — it doesn’t take wealth to live richly. It takes intention.